Let me start by saying that if someone killed someone I loved, I’d probably want that person to fry. Likewise, if a kid threatened or harmed my child, I’d be first in line to take the little monster down. And so I begin my musings about the similarities between capital punishment and a zero tolerance policy on bullying.
In theory, I’m against both. Frankly, killing a person seems to be a pretty dumb way to teach people not to kill. Likewise, it doesn’t seem productive to remove a difficult child from their social situation if, ultimately, you want them to develop into a decent (social) human being. Life in prison is an alternative to the death penalty. What, if anything, is the alternative to a zero tolerance policy for bullying?
Of course, I’m not talking about the run-of-the-mill nastiness that goes on between kids. Hopefully, teachers and parents have the ability (and the will) to get proactive about that kind of bullying. Those are the incidences where you pull someone aside and talk about unacceptable behavior and consequences. If you add real programs to teach kindness, the little injustices can probably be reduced. But what about the big things—guns in school, beatings, cyber or other attacks that do real damage? Suspension has been the zero tolerance option. Should that be permanent suspension? Does that achieve anything? I suppose suspension removes the offender from the immediate situation (and consequently provides relief for the victim). But I suspect that ultimately the abuser gets shipped off to another school or else sits around watching TV until he or she is old enough to go out and do some real damage.
When the discussion turns to prisoners, the debate often boils down to rehabilitation vs. warehousing vs. killing. If I apply those alternatives to bullying (with “killing” being zero tolerance) I definitely vote for rehabilitation. Schools need programs that that go beyond having a school psychiatrist meet with the student and parents. Perhaps these could be district-wide, citywide, or even statewide programs. I envision the kind of “camp” that is usually only available to rich parents with severely troubled children. The programs need to embrace, not isolate the children. Very big problems require very big solutions.
In the meantime, we deal with the minor offenders who will never been truly menacing but may, very likely, grow up to be the kind of people you don’t want to have over for dinner. I’d like to see a program that would address bullying (or kindness) nationally. Many years ago, some Bostonians were sporting a bumper sticker that read, “A little kindness won’t kill you.” Not a bad slogan to resurrect.
I agree with you that we can’t end bullying by isolating bullies. Not only do zero tolerance policies fail to change individuals, they do nothing to address the root causes of bullying. Your call for large-scale anti-bullying policies reminded me of a program my school started when I was in the sixth grade. The program took kids who had gotten into trouble for bullying and trained them to mediate disputes between other students. I thought this was a great idea.
ReplyDeleteA program to teach kindness should be implemented in every school across the country! I was bullied during my primary years (K-3) because I was different from the majority of the students. If there had been a program to teach kindness, the kids may have been nicer to me. Also, I may have been more likely to tell the teachers what was happening to me because I would know they cared.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an important issue that often gets ignored in the educational setting. Bullying has become, or maybe has always been, so prevalent in schools today. I work at the YMCA in the summer camp department and am constantly dealing with students bullying one another. I think that bullying so often gets ignored and explained away as "typical kid behavior". As educators we need to take every report seriously. I also agree that we need to actually address changing the bully's behaviors or nothing will be solved. Bullying is caused by something in the student's lives and we need to figure out why the student acts the way they do, only then can be work to solve the real issues behind the bullying.
ReplyDeleteConflict resolution skills should be learned and could help with bullying. But I think if we are seeing an erosion of interpersonal skills, certainly we need special programs at the schools: thus a tie-in with Sue's blog and the "Character Counts" programs at the Encinitas schools where I live (see Sue's blog at sueseduc422blog.blogspot.com or charactercounts.org). The students know either what to do or who to go to...
ReplyDeleteAnd Safia is right, students could form groups for conflict mediation, I had a niece in Colorado who had that at her school and it really helped.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I really wouldn't compare the two.
ReplyDeleteEverything else, I agree with. The problem is something that rose so quickly in our society that it is never really addressed in an effective way until it is too late. The first step would be to recognize and address the severity of what some of the bullying actually is. It is no longer just name calling or even just physical pushing. It is actually torture that leaves children either scared for life, or even worse, acting out in mass violence and death.
I never thought of the zero tolerance policy in that way. In my high school I know that students who were considered bullies and started fights were sent to the academy. However, this probably is not the best choice for them since they were placed around other bullies and probably reinforced their bad behavior. I think that schools need to address bullying and hopefully start at a young age.
ReplyDeleteWhen there is a slogan, there is a problem. Anyway, rehabilitation is a good option. But "it takes a village to raise a child." If more people--teachers, parents, brother and sisters, friends, etc.-- can pitch in and help, that would be more effective.
ReplyDeleteCheryl,
ReplyDeleteAfter getting to know students and faculty at a community day school (school for expelled kids) over this last year, I could not agree more that these students need rehabilitation. And the thing that really gets me is that many of them really want it. When students were asked what they wanted most in life, it was to be able to go back to their regular school. Sadly, none of them know how to get there because they are not taught to regulate their behavior.